Pandemonaeon Musings

Wow. I just finished listening to the Pandemonaeon mixes Winter did while on tour, and was surprisingly moved. These songs are sounding gorgeous to me, and it is pleasing indeed that songs I have heard more times than I care to admit over the last couple of years could have this effect on me. Winter has done a fine job and we are closer to done than I thought.

I know you’ve been hearing that for awhile, and it does remain to be seen how various schedules line up – Winter and I have been like ships passing in the night for almost two months.  But even with crazy schedules, there are only a few more vocal parts and some mix finessing and we are off to the printers.

And the tide of emotion that washed over me as part of this mix review compels me to write.  The spaces that these songs evoke represent the moments I feel most close to the Divine.  Striving to express the colors and moods of the realms that most inspire me, that come from the deepest places I have been graced to touch, this is the most powerful thing I do in my life.  And to hear that what I feel inside is in fact being translated, well, it makes all the 16 hour days, and months of poverty, and missing parties because I’m recording, and missing festivals because I am saving to print the album, etc. all worth it.

This album reflects the deepest parts of my soul, and I know Winter feels the same way. I think my bandmates must feel this to an extent as well. (They certainly aren’t in it for the money, that much is certain!) In some way they must feel they can put a piece of their own soul into this music in an authentic way. And it shows in their contributions.

I am not saying “aren’t we great” here at all. Rather, I am feeling extremely humbled by the sheer raw power of music, and profoundly grateful to have a part in it, to serve this serpent of such great mystery. I will probably never be a master, but I will ever aspire to become a more and more worthy vessel, that I may always have the chance to glimpse eternity in this way.