Star of the Sea

Heya cutie-pies!

Since some of you have asked about the lyrics to my songs, I have started this Song Magic series, where I feature a song, the lyrics, and bit about what inspired the song.

This time I am featuring Star of the Sea, off of Song of the Sea.

This song is about following one’s inspiration, dedicated to Venus, the star that guides the sailors, inspires poets, and drives lovers mad.  This song is an ode to  following that which compels us and brings beauty into or lives, that for which we would give all.  Enjoy!

Here she comes, soft as a whisper of wild things
Bringing her siren songs for me to sing
Her charms ensnare me, they capture my senses
As twilight unveils the secret that stirs the hearts of kings

What praises I wouldn’t sing
For the bright star of evening

While there’s a song in my soul that’s worth singing
While there is passion to quicken my blood
I will follow the star of the sea
Until all her songs are sung

I’ve dipped my toes in the madness of muses
Who spin their tunes with strands of their shining silver hair
Now I dance, untamed, drunk in the houses of God, yea,
Singing until my voice is raw

Delirium has me in thrall
Is it freedom or folly

While there’s a song in my soul that’s worth singing
While there is passion to quicken my blood
I will follow the star of the sea
Until all her songs are sung

I’ve kept my dreams frozen too long
Waiting to wake them with song
It’s a tune I have known all along

While there’s a song in my soul that’s worth singing
While there is passion to quicken my blood
I will follow the star of the sea
And I’ll rise up singing
Until all her songs are sung

I have been toying with the idea of creating art that goes with our songs for a while now, and here is a piece I did based on Star of the Sea.

I am curious – if I were to print this up as 11 x 17 posters with the lyrics, would you want one? I’d probably sell them for $10.

But I don’t want to make stuff no one wants, so I figured I’d ask. ;+)

Star of the Sea

For that matter, I could also do something with these two, for Fierce Black Soul of Night.
I would print 25 each of one of them, with all or part of the lyrics. And I’d print 25 of the Star of the Sea. Or just 50 of Star of the Sea. Whichever most folks think they’d like best.

Let me know if you like this idea enough to buy one. If enough folks are interested, I’ll get them printed. And I’ll gladly sign them for you too, if you like. :+)

Fierce Black Soul of Night

Muse of midnight, rise within - rip the soul right from my skin - I take refuge in the fierce black soul of night!

Well, I want to do that with you.

Sonic Alchemy, available wherever I go.

Upcoming:

In Santa Cruz, CA, April 20th – Feri Friday:
https://www.facebook.com/events/360626173975647/

In Denver, CO, May 15th:
http://www.livingearthcolorado.org/calendar/sonic-alchemy-class-with-sharon-knight 

Book a Sonic Alchemy Singing Circle in your Home: contact sharon@sharonknight.net

Check my tour schedule to see where I’ll be when. If I am not on tour, I am in the San Francisco Bay Area. And I am ready to sing with you. All the time, any time.

I was quite moved by the video, although it did raise a few questions that prevented me from telling all my friends how great it was before I’d had a chance to delve behind the scenes. (Such as “Are we sure empowering the Ugandan government with more military might is a good idea?” And “I wonder what ramifications of  ’getting  the bad guy’ we have to look forward to that nobody is talking about?”)

But still –  I was moved. This may be partly due to the fact that I am hopelessly unhip with regard to cynicism. It is very much in vogue these days to be cynical. After all, what thinking person, who keeps themselves informed and doesn’t stick their head in the sand, wouldn’t be? I get it that there is much to be cynical about, but it is a conscious choice on my part to fight against it. Cynical people aren’t effective people, and therefore they aren’t going to solve any of the world’s problems. Say what you will about the triteness of “Our thoughts create our reality”, but there is a fair amount of evidence that where we direct our minds determines how our neural pathways develop. (Google neuroplasticity). Therefore I choose to focus on the optimistic as best I can, because I want my brain to be primed to contribute, in whatever small way, to the world’s solutions.

Apparently this makes me a bit of a Pollyanna.

So naturally, my first pass through the KONY 2012 video was viewed through rose-colored glasses.

But during my dinner conversation with my friends, some of those questionable “behind the scenes” details I had been meaning to delve into began to surface.

It wasn’t the realization that Invisible Children (the organization that put out the video) is circulating outdated information (Kony hasn’t been seen in Uganda for about 5 years and is considered far less a threat by the Ugandan people than he once was), or that they are funded by some pretty right wing Christian organizations, or that a key founder of IC snapped and ran naked through the streets, that had the greatest impact on me, although these things did put a considerable tarnish on my warm fuzzy afterglow.

No, the thing that really surprised me in delving into the situation, and the greater dialog happening around the internet, was the notion that the privileged classes have a Savior Complex. There is a perception that far too often, Americans or Europeans want to rush in and play “The Great White Hero” so that they can pat themselves on the back and say “Aren’t I swell” over beers with their buddies. They do so often without a deeper understanding of  the underlying problems that caused the situation to begin with. And they don’t engage deeply enough with the people they are trying to help, which comes across as condescending. They assume that (in this case) Africa needs saving because they are incapable of solving their own problems.

But the thing is – people want to stand on their own. Sure they may welcome help, but as collaborators, not as the damsel-in-distress to some glory-seeking hero sweeping in on his white horse and turning everything into his chosen flavor of happily-ever-after.

I had never really thought about it like that before. I have always thought that people in privileged situations should help others, and that is as far as it went. It hadn’t occurred to me that that help may not always be welcomed. I was reminded of so many “magickal workings”, wherein a well-meaning but ultimately meddlesome magickal group sets out to heal someone unasked. If a person has not asked for healing, you don’t give it.

I do think it’s noble that the more privileged of the world help others. I would like to see us all giving each other a leg up as best we can, whenever we can. But care needs to be taken in how that help is offered. It needs to create a bridge of cooperation and not more disparity between “The Savior” and “The Saved”. Care needs to be taken to respect the people who are living with the situation day in and day out, and to work with them in a way that empowers rather than belittles.

And this sheds some new light on my own quest to “Save The World”. I want to make an impact. I want the world to be a better place for my having been here. And I struggle with that, because so far the life I have chosen has not left me with much time or money to spare for activism. And yet it does make me feel more alive than anything ever has, so I’d be loathe to give it up.  Therefore, I often feel conflicted about whether my choices have been selfish, and whether my path truly serves.

In light of mulling this over, it occurs to me that there is a certain amount of hubris in Wanting To Save The World.  I mean really…no one person can save the world anyway. Not even Richard Branson. Not even Bill Gates. Why do I want to Save The World? So I can feel all warm and fuzzy? Perhaps I don’t need to get all antsy about when my ship is going to come in so I can do Big Epic Things and feel all important.

Maybe Small Everyday Things are just fine. Maybe we can all Save The World together. None of us really doing the Saving, but rather each of us doing a little to make the world we touch a bit better. Which means, perhaps I can start easing up on my feeling that I need to be doing more to make the world awesome than I am already doing. Maybe it really is enough to be excellent in the ways that we are empowered to, and let the rest go. I may not be able to save children in Africa, but I can be kind to the folks I encounter on the street.  When we are all doing the work together, perhaps it is enough that we only affect our immediate sphere of influence.

No, I don’t want to Save The World. It is far too great a burden, and gets in the way of me writing fanciful folk tales and singing them to you. But I can fit  ”Making The World a Little Bit Better Wherever I Go” into my busy schedule.

I think I’ll do just that. Because, after all, I am a bit of a Pollyanna.

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Ps – here are a bunch of links that my friend sent me, if you are interested in following the dialog that has sprung up around the internet regarding the KONY 2012 video. I found them interesting enough to write a blog post, apparently.

Links courtesy of Jonathan Korman, who can be found here: http://miniver.blogspot.com/

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/reality-check-with-polly-curtis/2012/mar/13/reality-check-kony-2012-reaction

http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2012/03/the-white-savior-industrial-complex/254843/

http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/should-i-donate-money-to-kony-2012-or-not

http://www.voanews.com/english/news/africa/east/Northern-Ugandans-Critical-of-Kony-2012-Campaign-142923415.html

http://blogs.alternet.org/speakeasy/2012/03/11/invisible-children-funded-by-antigay-creationist-christian-right/

http://boingboing.net/2012/03/12/kony-2012-invisible-children.html

http://boingboing.net/2012/03/07/kony-2012-a-viral-mess.html#previouspost

Because I am fairly new to blogging, I wanted to learn from those who’ve had some success. I have spent the last year and a half reading all sorts of blogs, signing their mailing lists, working through their workbooks, participating in blogging groups, etc. And they’ve all been really helpful. But at the end of the day – I am throwing much of it away. The time has come for me to stop listening to others’ voices, so that I can better hear my own. Oh, not forever. Listening to others is pretty crucial to having genuine relationships!  But – for a little while, I need to tune into the voice of my own inner expert.

The reasons are twofold:

1) I have come to feel that doing all these programs has become an excuse to distract myself from diving into my own work. “I just need one more workshop to break through my stuck places and THEN I can start!”  I am not saying we never need these things, and in fact I can recommend a dozen if you are finding yourself in a stuck place. I’ve sampled several over the last 18 months! But what I am saying is that for my part, I have gotten what I can get out of them for the time being,  and they have become busy work/distraction from actually applying what I’ve learned.

2) A lot of the information isn’t relevant to me. Such as the blogging formulas that purportedly get people’s attention. Apparently I am supposed to be putting out “How to” blogs to help make your life better. But the thing is…I don’t write “How-to” manuals for helping make your life better.  I sing songs. My blogging isn’t about blogging. It’s about music. Same thing applies to the “7 ways to make your (whatever) more epic”. These blogging formulas are supposed to get me more readers because I am helping you to find the answers you are seeking in your life. And therefore more folks will discover me, leave comments on my blog, and I will rise in the ranks of Google.

That all sounds contrived as Fuck. At least for me.

I know some excellent bloggers who do these things in a way that feels authentic, and I have learned a lot from them. but it is time to move on.

It is time for me to stop “learning” – at least for awhile – and tune into my own voice. I may not have 7 tips for you to lose weight, make money on the internet, or be more like me.  I may not have epically inspiring things to share every day. My most epic work is going to come in the form of songs, because that’s how I roll. I am not setting out to become an A-list blogger. Only to share more about the places my music comes from. If you are moved by my music perhaps you’ll want to read my blog.

A year and a half ago, when I started reading these blogs, and learning how others have built their online businesses, I did learn a lot. But for the past several months I have been trying to extract the same inspiration I got when I first discovered some of these folks (Chris Guillebeau, Goddess Leonie, Connection Revolution to name just a few) and it’s just not there anymore. And the worst part?

It has actually kept me from blogging. Because I go into “second-guessing myself” mode. Is what I am writing “useful”? Am I really helping anyone? Is my content “Epic” enough?

The way I help others is to write music that cracks my heart open. If my own heart cracks open, I know that some others’ will too. And boy could this world do with a lot more open hearts!

So that’s what this blog is going to be. My journey to crack my heart open – through beauty, wonder, mystery, music, hope, joy, sorrow. The journey to feel the depths of this world as fully as possible. You are welcome to come along.

So where am I at right now?

I am raw, my loves. I am doing what I love, what I have longed to do my entire life. And I fear that it is not enough. All the time, I wonder if it is selfish and self-indulgent. Shouldn’t I be more “activist-y” somehow? Shouldn’t I be doing more to “Save The World”?  And always, Howard Thurman’s famous quote comes to me in those moments – “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive”. This is a guiding light for me as I  navigate my way through these feelings.

Also –  the money is sporadic at best. So I confront fear every single day. Every day that I am not living under a bridge and still get to write songs and plan tours is a day that I am allowed to be fully alive. And this compels a gratitude like nothing ever has. And yet I am acutely aware of how fragile this is, and that I must work tirelessly to bring myself to a more stable place with it all.

Now that I am living as a full-time musician, there is no way I could ever stop. I have never felt so alive, so fierce, so full of magick and hope. So I must find a way. And if I can’t, I honestly think I would rather starve than let the songs inside me go unsung. For what? For safety? No way.

Finding and expressing the songs that live inside me is, at my core, what makes life worth getting up for every day.  I will find a way through this path of traveling the world singing my songs, or I will starve. I will not let my fear and uncertainty lull me back to the unsatisfied sleep I was in for so long. I will create my life on my own terms or die trying.

And it is this call, to follow my Siren Song despite the dangers, that compels me to return to the Siren myth as a songwriting theme over and over again.

Do you have a Siren Song you follow? As always, I invite you to share your stories in the comments. It’s so much more fun to share a conversation than to talk to myself!

I did it. I got my songs written for this month’s Song-A-Week review. I was hoping to write 6 to catch up from last month, wherein Hexenfest (our first annual self-produced festival) ate my life. But frankly it is all I can do to write 4 a month so I think I am going to have to change my perspective a bit. Rather than making up the songs I missed, I think I need to be okay with the idea that I fell down, but can can get back up again and resume where I was.

On that note, here they are. Enjoy!

(One quick reminder – please don’t share these, as they are very rough sketches, just meant for my community here as a way to share in the artistic process. I’d hate to develop a reputation as a sloppy musician were these released into the wild, as it were).

Slippers of Rose – This one is the belle of the ball for me, and will be on my next album for sure. I wrote it as part of a songwriting challenge I came across online called Song Fu. I figured, since I was already doing a songwriting challenge for myself, I may as well participate in a larger group. Amanda Palmer issued the theme for this challenge, and it was “Write a song about something you lost that you know you’ll never get back. Have it be about an object and then veer into the metaphysical if you want”. So this song is about a pair of ballet slippers I had when I was a young girl, and how they have come to represent my connection with my Dad, and wanting him to be proud of me.  It is about lost chances, and the passing of time. Now that my Dad has passed, anything that was left unsaid can never be spoken. Writing this was very powerful for me, and Winter liked it enough to want to add to it right away, so you’ve got a bit of his mojo here as well. Here t’is: Slippers-of-Rose-033112

Porcelain Princess – Here is a song about being invisible, something that we all feel from time to time. It is the story of a marionette who comes to life each night when her puppet master brings her out to dance on the stage. His attention makes her feel alive, and if only he could truly acknowledge her, see her for what she is inside, she would come to life permanently and be his love. I think this song needs a bridge and one last chorus before it is album-ready, but this is what I’ve got for now. Porcelain Princess

Freedom of the Fall – Here is a Pandemonaeon song written especially for the Pagans. We debuted it at Hexenfest, and in our minds it’s sort of the “anthem” of Hexenfest. It’s about our worldview as Pagans, how we reject the notion that we fell from heaven out of sin, but in fact find our “fall” quite liberating. Our manifestation on this earth is cause for celebration!  Does this song describe you? If so, then I raise a glass of strong wine in your honor. Freedom-of-the-Fall-031712

Sonic Alchemy Alignment – Hell yeah I’m counting this as a song! It is a composed piece of music after all, and took me well over 10 hours to create it. Check it out and read the instructions for how to best experience it. I think you will find it quite relaxing and centering. I am excited about developing this dimension to my work! Listen here: http://www.sharonknight.net/mp3/Sonic-Alchemy-Alignment.mp3

Speaking of Sonic Alchemy – I created another Sonic Alchemy meditation specifically for anxiety relief. So really I managed to write 5 pieces of music this month. (Maybe I will catch up after all!) However, I am not releasing this one yet, as I’ve created it for Veda Sun’s Anxiety Busting Virtual Retreat, and want that group to have it first.  (If you struggle with anxiety and want to make a commitment to getting it under control, check out Gina Rafkind and Veda Sun. If you sign up for the virtual retreat, you’ll get the Sonic Alchemy meditation as a bonus).

Alright lovies! That’s the news, them’s the songs, and as always, I invite you to let me know your impressions of them in the comments, and also offer ideas for songs for the next month. Thanks for playing the game with me!

A much more tame and not even remotely adequate approximation of the storm I am about to tell you about.

Hi everyone!

Some of you have told me you’d like more song lyrics in my newsletter and on my blog, and also that you’d like to know how the music connects to my spirituality. So I  figured I’d explore both those topics here, in a series of posts I’ll call Song Magic.  I’ll share the lyrics, what inspired them, and ask you to participate with some questions about your own story at the end.

We’ll start with a newer one, Mistress of MacLyr:

Tempestuous twilight, bring my love to me 
Whose froth-white horses come sweeping in from sea 
And carry my heart away from me 

Melancholy eyes, deep with dreams of starfish 
Eerie moonglow hair, soothing sand into surrender 
And operas of Seraphim singing of your splendor 

Oh the roiling churning sea 
He will come for me 
I will wait by my crystal palace and 
He will come for me 

Your salty kiss is on my tongue and tangled in my hair 
With shells between my toes, and yearning for more 
I dance the dance of wild night and conjure you to shore 

Your beauty pierces through me, Master of the Sea 
Courtship fierce and stormy, you made your claim on me 
Your foamy tendrils gripped my hair, and ravished me away 

Oh the roiling churning sea 
He will come for me 
I will wait by my crystal palace and 
He will come for me 

Carry me away to your jeweled and dewey deep 
Never will a mortal’s kiss stir my soul from sleep 
I am ravished utterly away 
Oh I am ravished utterly away 

Oh the roiling churning sea 
He will come for me 
I will wait by my crystal palace and 
He will come for me

This song comes from a mighty storm I witnessed at 4am while staying in Jenner, which is a small coastal community in Sonoma county where the Russian River flows into the sea, and also my favorite place on Earth. I was staying in the last house before the river meets the sea, so I was as close as I could get and still be by a warm fire. My companion stood out on the deck while I wrote by the fire, and eventually asked “It is supposed to be like this?” I went outside to see that the sea had completely engulfed the strand between it and the river, and was now crashing up on the riverbank not 20 feet from our back door. I had never seen it do that, and I had lived here for 2 years. It was breathtaking, and a little scary. The next morning, in town, we read the headlines “Record waves crest at 50 feet”.

The moon was full, and the clouds were billowing and fearsome, sometimes hiding and sometimes revealing her. Light prismed out from the moon the way the sunlight often does, creating an otherworldly array of pearlescent moonbeams that lit the sea. And there was lightning, great forks of it striking and clashing as if some epic battle waged amongst the Gods.

To this day, I think it was the single most beautiful and awe-inspiring display of nature I have ever seen. If I were to choose one example of why I am Pagan, this would be it. These are the things that compel me to worship - the majesty of nature brings me to my knees in utter astonishment.

As many of you know, Manannan MacLyr is God of the Sea in Irish myth. And I adore the sea beyond words. In this song I attempt to give voice to my love of the sea in all it’s beauty and power.

When has nature brought you to your knees?  What experience in your life has compelled you to worship, has shown you a glimpse of the Divine? Will you share an event in your life that has cracked you open, that has broken through cynicism and sorrow and brought you to a place of wonder and openness?

Please share your story in the comments if you are so moved. :+)

(Mistress of MacLyr is from the album Neofolk Romantique and can be listened to here)

(You can get the song for free by signing Sharon’s mailing list. You also get monthly free improvised song snippets called Mermaid Kisses).